This year seems to be slipping past me at a speed I can’t keep up with. In some way, I feel as though time has been stolen from me. Two surgeries and a cumulative few months recovering, and the countless days spent in bed, in pain, unable to participate in my own life. I miss wandering for hours in the sand and the rocks, searching for sea glass, searching for peace. I miss being consumed by my new business, my insatiable hunger to build my own little empire. I miss my sense of humor and dancing for no reason.
These things have quitely faded from my life. I’d like to blame it all on current medical diagnosis (or un-diagnosis), but the truth is I can still have all these things that I miss so dearly. Sure there are bad days. Everybody has them. Granted on some of those bad days I have to resign myself to lying in bed until the pain stops (I can’t tell you how frustrating this is), but I can also take advantage of the good days. We had the most beautiful sunset here the other night. We have many wonderful sunsets. For a few moments, we stopped everything, opened the blinds, and gazed out of our second-story window. It was a simple and fleeting gesture of appreciation, but it meant the world to me to feel so grateful again for everything I have.
I accept my medical predicament (some days more than others), and am ready to find my spirit again. We are here for so short a time. Spend it with the ones you love, doing what you love. One of my favorite quotes from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005);
“There’s plenty of money out there. They print more of it every day. But this golden ticket, there’s only five of them in the whole world. Only a dummy would give this up for something as common as money. Are you a dummy?”
Don’t be a dummy. Hold on tight to your “gold ticket”. Don’t forgo a late night movie cuddle session with your favorite person because you have to get up early for work. Don’t give up the chance to try something new for fear of embarrassment or looking silly. Don’t pass up an opportunity to meet with friends, you never know when they might not be around anymore. Be grateful, be humble, and don’t tell the guy who cut you off in traffic to “go fuck yourself!” -let it go. Let it all go.